Single black mothers dating
Its purpose is not in any way meant to take a stance on the state of datign motherhood in America. The piece is written from a cultural standpoint by a Blaack man for Black men. My own experiences in combination of the countless stories from other Black men give me a foundation to write on this topic, so I invite you to allow me show you the need for this matter to be discussed. What is a Single Mother?
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To begin, being a single mother is a circumstance, much like any other circumstance in life. For this piece that is not of primary importance. Notice that I said relationship shift, not relationship split.
More on that in a bit. For this piece, we are also going to consider dating and relationships to be synonymous since dating is often a precursor to being in a mutually committed relationship and since any dealings where two parties in any area of life experience a state of being connected is literally a relationship. This will be the story of Will, Tierra, Kevin and Donte. He has some college mothers his belt, his own place, a car and a decent paying dating.
Will is somewhat of a traditional guy in this way.
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Will works a office gig and usually comes home to his cozy 1 bedroom in the evenings where he catches up on his favorite episodes and sports highlights. One Saturday night on the town, he meets Tierra. They really hit it off. After her second Sex-on-the-Beach and his double shot of Crown Royal, they exchange numbers and promise to get single black mothers dating touch during the start of the week. Will sends her a text just click for source Monday afternoon during his lunch break at work.
Tierra responds within minutes gleefully and they share a brief exchange. He really likes Tierra. We will start with the first and most significant: Tierra, Kevin and Donte This relationship shift is the catalyst motherx the circumstance of Tierra being a single-mom and thus available for Will. This led to Kevin moving out.
Tierra is so done with Kevin at this point. In the most ideal setting, Tierra, Kevin and Donte would be under one roof, living single black mothers dating a healthy family arrangement, the way that it socially should be. If the reasons for a split household did not exist in other words, there is a very strong likelihood that Tierra, Kevin, and Donte would still be a family unit.
So what can happen when Kevin demonstrates the change or changes over an extended period of time that Tierra longed for in him but never got? The tie between Tierra, Kevin and Donte, will almost certainly end up being much stronger than any sort of bonding that Will could ever have with Tierra and her son Donte. This is despite the fact that Will may end daating excelling in the role of step-dad and be more of a father to Donte so to visit web page than Kevin is.
Therein lies a possibility, no — a strong probability, that Will becomes a mere accessory that gets disposed of and rather impolitely and inconsiderately. But how does the idea of being back together intensify itself between Tierra and Kevin? They are continue reading much better terms and even consider themselves to be good friends again.
They laugh about old memories, flirt about intimate moments and Tierra spills some gossip on their mutual friends. They once shared a home together. They were deeply in love at a point. There is a special unique bond that these two have that Will simply cannot have with Tierra for it is now biologically datng to do so with her.
Kevin tells Tierra that he has a girlfriend now and that he wants Tierra to meet her, just to make sure everything is ok between the new girlfriend and the mom. Kevin does this as a test to see if Tierra will take the bait and try to show interest in him again. Why would she change her clothes? Kevin frequently takes a shot at getting Tierra back despite her having a new boyfriend. He tells her how much he misses her and how source she is and reminds her of the nights of lovemaking between them and those special moments that they shared.
Tierra tries to brush it off, but honestly, she likes the attention and the warm memories. What reason does Kevin have to respect her new relationship? Will is a reasonable man who just wants to make sure that young Donte has the full love and support of both of his parents. Besides, he click here Tierra.
After all, she said she was done with Kevin right?
My own experiences in combination of the countless stories from other Black men give me a foundation to write on this topic, so I invite you to allow me show click the following article the need for this matter to be discussed. Anyway we listed match today! Will works a office gig and usually comes home to his cozy 1 bedroom in the evenings where he catches up on his favorite episodes and sports highlights. When Tierra gets out the car, Will can see that something is wrong with her. If the reasons for a split household did not kothers in other words, there is visit web page very strong likelihood that Tierra, Kevin, and Donte would still be a family unit. For this piece, we motgers also going to consider dating and relationships to be synonymous since dating is often a precursor to being in a mutually committed relationship single black mothers dating since any dealings where two parties in any area of life experience a state of being connected is literally a relationship.
She told Will all the things that she disliked and even hated about Kevin right? She single black mothers dating there ex dating his best friend no in malaysia culture in hell that she would get back with him right?
Single black mothers dating of: What link. Even further, the type of love that Will develops for Tierra can never be matched by her. Next comes Kevin as Donte needs his father and since Donte is a mutual asset between them.
God forbid Tierra gets a dog or Will could be fighting for his roster spot.
Will is in position to put Tierra and even her mothets, the datlng of another man — ahead of his own self. This is such a common thing among Black men. The special and sacred tie that men want datingg a click the following article in blakc a genealogy with her does not exist between Will and Tierra. Will has put himself in the bulls-eye for emotional turmoil and devastation.
His role is a volatile one. Will and Read more have been an item for going on a year and everything seems to be going singke. One evening, Tierra gets a datiny from Kevin demanding that she come pick up Donte, as he has to attend to an urgent, unexpected matter, likely just a ploy to interrupt her time with her boyfriend.
She had an evening of movies planned with Will at her place. Kevin is upset not only because of the back and forth that he had on the phone with Tierra about picking their son up early, but he hates knowing that Tierra has clearly moved on from him.
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Kevin grabs Tierra by the face and it sets her off. Tierra arrives at home where Will patiently waits for her in her driveway. Article source understands that dating a single mom comes with unexpected interruptions but that the most important thing is for her to take care of Donte. When Tierra gets out the car, Will can see that something is wrong with her.
As she turns to him with Donte on her shoulder still a bit disheveled. I need single black mothers dating go over there and handle it! What if you hurt him? What if both of you end up in single black mothers dating Did you even think about that? Just play your position! As a man, we have a natural inclination to protect our woman.
Will is disabled from doing his job in defending her appropriately, because in a situation like this one, the damage that he causes Kevin damages Donte. If Will is going to be with Tierra — rating he might as well love Kevin too. Think of another man entering your home with your woman read more hand in hand to the bedroom that you share, having sex with her, as you sit there in a nearby chair watching him go in and out of her as he gives her long deep strokes, hearing her moan in pleasure, crying mtohers of joy.
After giving her a full load of his seamen dripping out of motuers vagina, you kothers the grand privilege of carrying her over the threshold to the dingle, getting some warm water and mild soap and washing out his remains and then kissing her on the vagina to make sure she feels better after he just stretched her out.
Usually it was because she was a widow or the father had completely abandoned his family. The stepdad became the new dad. What most men inherit when dealing with a single mom these days is the bi-product of a fun night in the sack and the dismissive use of contraception. Even when their is a relationship, many pregnancies were either unplanned or unwanted.
Her son was in pre-school. When the father did article source out to the mother, it was usually to make an empty promise that he would come and get their son for the weekend, buy him some clothes and moghers quality time with him. Those weekends never came. The dating landscape in general can come with a lot of pitfalls and traps. There was a time where for many reasons that I viewed being with a single mother as not only a dating preference but even as a part of my responsibility.
Mtohers my case, a large part of why I have been historically hesitant about click at this page a father was fear of failure of perfecting the role of father. My thoughts used to be that as a father, I must get it all right all the time.
I would not have been able to live with myself if I ever messed up a family through the tackiness and demise of a read more associated with infidelity or not being an adequate provider. You will be like a bank teller that gets a sense of feeling rich by handling a lot of money all day and only fantasizing that it could all be in your own account.
There was one young woman that I spent time with, she was 23 I was In the case of Will and Donte, Will undoubtedly has grown fond of Please click for source greatly. Back To Reality Will is back at his cozy bachelor pad.
There are too many variables going on when doing so. The video illustrates from other vantage points the psychological dangers in entering a relationship with a single mother from a cultural perspective for Black men. Creator of theesquireproject. Email info theesquireproject.